How to Speak "ENFJ"

• Let them know verbally how much you appreciate them and their contributions. With ENFJs, words often speak louder than actions.
• If you need to offer criticism, make sure to point out any areas of agreement first. Alert them to incoming criticism and ask them to receive it in the spirit in which it is given.
• Never discount, dismiss, or make light of their personal feelings about an issue, even if you don't feel there is a rational or logical basis for them to feel that way. Never try to talk them out of how they feel. Listen, rather than try to fix their problem.
• Avoid confrontation whenever possible. Try to cooperate and find middle ground.
• Make sure to follow through on commitments you make to them. Don't change plans unless it is absolutely necessary. And if it is, give them plenty of time to adjust to the changes and to shift gears.
• When pitching an idea or proposal, make sure you have fully considered for the action will affect others, and emphasize all positive aspects.
• Use their first names and maintain eye contact. Be patient with their sometimes long and tangential story-telling style.

from The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger

Description:

For ENFJs the dominant quality in their lives is an active and intense caring about people and a strong desire to bring harmony into their relationships. ENFJs are openly expressive and empathetic people who bring an aura of warmth to all that they do. Intuition orients their feeling to the new and to the possible, thus they often enjoy working to manifest a humanitarian vision, or helping others develop their potential. ENFJs naturally and conscientiously move into action to care for others, to organize the world around them, and to get things done.

from The Personality Page

How to Speak "ENFP"

• Be prepared to discuss many topics and answer a lot of questions.
• Don't overwhelm them with details, especially those concerning projects or ideas they are not already heavily invested in.
• Challenge their creativity. ENFPs love nothing better than seeing possibilities and generating unique, helpful solutions.
• Present them with lots of options. If at all possible, don't limit their choices or restrict their ability to come up with alternatives. Never immediately point out why their ideas won't work.
• Appeal to their enormous sense of the possible, especially with regard to getting what they want or helping others achieve something that is important to them.
• Respect their personal privacy. Don't ask them to share their feelings publicly. While they like to be appreciated for their contributions, they are often embarrassed when praised publicly.
• Keep presentations interesting and the pace moving. The more you involve them, the more invested they will become. Make chores and required tasks fun.
• Don't be too formal or structured, or overwhelm them with too many rules or procedures. If at all possible, encourage (or at least tolerate) their desire to act spontaneously.

from The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger

Description:

ENFPs are open-minded, imaginative, caring and outgoing. They thrive on the drama of life by observing everything enthusiastically and associating meaning and human motive with all they survey. To the ENFP, no life event is devoid of significance--a belief which may justify others' perception of them as hyperalert, oversensitive and even suspicious at times. Charming, interactive, charismatic, communicative and ingenious, ENFPs often are expansive in their approach to life, love and work--multitalented individuals who may succeed in a number of creative endeavors, so long as a strong human element is present. "Do this, do that!" jobs demanding strict compliance with rules, regulations and procedures, and attention to logic, facts and details are stressful for most ENFPs. Their characteristically short attention span and diversity of interests may sabotage their accomplishment in enterprises demanding tenacity and single-mindedness. This type's natural gift for inspiring others often is their salvation: the projects ENFPs start may be completed by their followers.

from The Personality Page

How to Speak "ENTJ"

• Get to the point; don't beat around the bush and waste their time; be conscientious about meeting deadlines and delivering on your promises.
• Do your homework! Be prepared to defend your position; expect them to challenge you and to play the devil's advocate.
• Prepare yourself to be assertive; don't worry about hurting their feelings, and don't let them intimidate you, which they may unintentionally do.
• Keep in mind how your proposal or idea fits into the big picture and their own and/or their organization's long-range plans and objectives.
• Don't be afraid to offer bold and innovative approaches, as long as they are well thought out and logical.
• Sell yourself as someone who is competent on your own but also capable of being a team player. Communicate self-sufficiency and the ability to need little direct assistance.
• Tell them immediately if they hurt your feelings or offend you. But be sure to tell them precisely what they did that bothered you, and do it honestly and calmly.
  

from The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger

Description:

Outgoing, logical and decisive, the ENTJ leads by providing conceptual structure and setting goals, rather than by detailing and enforcing procedures, codes and regulations. This "big picture" type rises naturally to conspicuous positions of power and responsiblity in all organizational settings (business, military, educational, governmental.) Disorganization, confusion, emotion, inefficiency and illogic drive ENTJs to take charge of situations and institutions. Their intuition fuels their vision and defines their goals. They deal with the world boldly, in an assertive, analytical, objective and organized way which inspires others to salute them and do whatever the ENTJ needs done--including all the detail work! ENTJs certainly do get things done, both at home and at work, but often at substantial cost in terms of wear and tear on the human spirit, for they may neglect the importance of the personal element in accomplishing their purpose. More than any other, this type seems to struggle between an inner drive toward creative spontaneity and the desire for order in the universe.

from The Personality Page

How to Speak "ESTJ"

• Be assertive; you may have to push to get your point across. Don't worry about hurting their feelings; ESTJ's take few things personally. They'll respect you more if you don't back down from your position.
• Try not to be put off by their frankness or even bluntness -- they probably do not mean what they say personally, so try not to take it that way.
• Don't expect to score points with personal appeals. Be objective and base your argument or reasoning on the realistic, logical consequences of the action, rather than on its personal importance to you or others.
• Appeal to their sense of fairness and justice. Don't make frequent exceptions to the rule.
• Be prepared to discuss your ideas when you present them. They are action-oriented people and don't tend to take much time for reflection.
• Appeal to their need to get the job done.
• Come directly to your point or request. Be explicit, organized, and honest. Try numbering your points for clarity. Do not try to skirt around issues.

from The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger

Description:

Assertive, practical, rational, loyal, opinionated and decisive, the ESTJ is an organized, take-charge person who brings others into line by assigning tasks and roles, giving clear-cut instructions, following up regularly to check progress and giving formal recognition to those who do as they've been told. The ESTJ usually prefers to enforce existing policies, rather than to innovate, revise or otherwise introduce unnecessary change into any system. Traditional and conservative, the ESTJ tends to apply a military model to most life situations, preferring linear channels of communication and command and eliminating any disorganization or confusion. In business, education, administration, law enforcement or the military, this type is evident as the outgoing, no-nonsense leader, gratified by the precision of smoothly functioning organizations and the power and control that come with being in charge. While others may charge that this type is sometimes short on feelings and finesse, ESTJs will tell you they express their caring by looking after others' welfare in unemotional ways.

from The Personality Page

How to Speak "ESTP"

• Engage them in the process; expect and prepare for a vigorous, challenging, and even good-naturedly confrontational give-and-take.
• Lighten up! Make the conversation or presentation fun; don't misconstrue their casual, easygoing style and perhaps good-natured ribbing or comments as a lack of interest or support for your project.
• Base your reasoning and argument on the pragmatic outcome you desire, emphasizing practical benefits; avoid appeals based on emotion.
• Keep it simple. Present ideas in a straightforward way; avoid long, complicated, involved explanations or rationales. Use plenty of specific and sensory examples and action words to convey your meaning and intention
• When possible, give them more than one option to consider and the opportunity to modify the plan.
• If appropriate, appeal to their willingness to take calculated risks.

The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger

Description:

ESTPs are outgoing practical thinkers--masters of experience, observation and the analysis of cause-effect relationships, free from the biasing influence of theory, tradition or emotion. Action is the ESTP's middle name. This type thrives on it and creates it when life gets too boring. Resourceful troubleshooters, dynamic entrepreneurs and engaging negotiators, ESTPs apply a flexible, common-sense reasoning approach to any problem they tackle: planting a garden, fixing a car, settling a dispute, or reorganizing a multibillion-dollar corporation. Just don't try to sell this type on fantasies and abstract ideas! Spontaneous, competitive and generous, ESTPs turn work into play, whenever possible, and apply the model of an athletic team to all their relationships. Teamwork matters to the ESTP. Although they can be charming, clever and seductively open, rarely do ESTPs merit description as deeply feeling people. When life becomes too complex with unwanted obligations and personal entanglements, count on the ESTP to escape from the situation.

The Personality Page

How to Speak "INFJ"

• Give them plenty of time to consider your idea or proposal in-depth before expecting feedback or discussion.
• Present the idea in terms of your vision -- the big picture, and how it may fit into their larger personal or organizational goals, rather than focusing on the specifics and details.
• Discuss the benefits it will have on people -- especially how it will positively affect them in the future as well as in the present.
• Especially with regard to problem-solving, solicit their ideas, appeal to their creativity, and talk about possibilities.
• Be patient with what might be long, complicated explanations; don't hesitate to take your time carefully considering their proposals -- they like to do the same.
• If relevant, provide information regarding the timing of the implementation of the plan; be sure to meet all agreed-upon deadlines, and honor your commitments.

from The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger

Description:

INFJs are intuitive, caring, quiet and peace-loving: deep and complex people who may seem equally at home dealing with the personal and analytical spheres of life. The interior world of vision and ideas is this type's most comfortable domain, but some degree of human connection is essential for the INFJ's happiness; a potential conflict for this type. Articulate, empathetic and idealistic, INFJs often say they just know things, they know them directly, and they may not be able to tell you how or why! INFJs seem to be able to feel others' feelings vicariously and sense the good and evil in situations: an almost psychic ability which may be an asset in many "people professions." Spiritual, sensitive and committed, INFJs enjoy being of service to others. Once this type's goals are set and the mind is made up, no argument based solely on reason and practicality is likely to divert the passionate INFJ from a mission or chosen project. Whether this characteristic manifests itself as admirable tenacity or bull-headed stubbornness may determine the individual INFJ's potential for life success.

from The Personality Page

How to Speak "INFP"

• INFPs are very sensitive to criticism and view everything personally. However, they may never come out and tell you that you've hurt their feelings. If in doubt, stay away from or tread lightly with topics you think they might be sensitive about.
• Be very careful not to dismiss, discount, or make light of the things they consider important. If you do, you run the risk of damaging your relationship permanently, since INFPs may hold grudges far longer than other types.
• If possible, find out how your idea, suggestion, or proposal fits in with one of their passions, and try to link the two, or point out commonalities.
• Give them plenty of time to consider your ideas. Be prepared to discuss the impact they will have on others, including the future implications.
• If relevant, convey your sincere belief in the values of what you are proposing. If you are not genuine, it will be obvious to them, and they will immediately, and perhaps permanently, reject your idea or proposal.
• Respect their style of decision making, which usually requires time and privacy to mull things over. Consider alternatives all along the way, change plans as new information is discovered, perhaps even start all over if the central mission or concept is corrupted by too much external influence.
• Remember that INFPs are process people. Build time for revision, modification, and reflection into any schedule.

from The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger

Description:

INFPs are quiet, creative, sensitive and perceptive souls who often strike others as shy, reserved and cool. These folks have a rare capacity for deep caring and commitment--both to the people and causes they idealize. INFPs guide their behavior by a strong inner sense of values, rather than by conventional logic and reason. Forced to cope with this facts-and-figures "real" world we inhabit, INFPs may appear to have been imported from another galaxy! They gravitate toward creative or human service careers which allow them to use their instinctive sens of empathy and remarkable communication skills. Strongly religious, spiritual or philosophical people, INFPs may see the purpose of their lives as an inner journey, quest or personal unfolding. More practical or rational types may tend to discredit the INFP's sources of understanding as mystical. The search for a soulmate is a preoccupation for many INFPs, who must balance their need for privacy and peace with their yearning for human connection. If there seems to be an air of sadness in the INFP's spirit, blame it on this type's longing for the perfect in all things.

from The Personality Page

How to Speak "INTJ"

• Submit new ideas and/or proposals in writing and give them plenty of time to think about them before discussing. Preview new experiences ahead of time.
• Pay careful attention to the strategy necessary for implementing your ideas. Remember that INTJs place a very high value on competence.
• Don't expect effusive appreciation or lavish praise for a job well done. INTJs often consider both unnecessary, meaningless, and, therefore, insulting.
• Resist the temptation to finish their sentences. Even if they seem to be rambling and you think you know where they are heading, it is far better to let them get there on their own.
• Remember to make your case based on logic -- not personal preferences or extenuating circumstances.
• Remember that they are most concerned with the big picture and how the idea fits in with their larger mission.

from The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger

Description:

Independent, innovative, logical and driven by the inner world of ideas and possibilities, the INTJ often appears to others as a quietly self-confident (and sometimes stubborn) critic of the status quo, convinced that reality can be altered, the future reshaped. Wherever there is a need for change in systems, programs, concepts or theories, INTJs will be working behind the scenes to reorganize and revise. This type's focused attention to the personal mission may be inspiring or frankly obsessive, depending on the observer's viewpoint or the success of the enterprise. Introspective and somewhat shy, INTJs place their trust in logical analysis and intuition to guide their thoughts and decisions. More feeling types may find them chilly, and more practical types accuse them of being unrealistic, but INTJs take their cues mostly from those they recognize as intelligent. Often attracted to theoretical, analytical and methodological areas of inquiry, INTJs succeed in a wide variety of fields, from ones heavily dependent on mathematics and science to more philosophical, literary or applied disciplines.

from The Personality Page

How to Speak "INTP"

• Be prepared to consider as many options as possible, and anticipate that decisions which have been made may change as new information becomes available.
• Challenge their creative problem-solving skills. INTPs seldom encounter a problem that they cannot solve. The trickier the issue, the more they will enjoy it, and the more energized they will become.
• Give INTPs adequate time to "noodle" ideas around before expecting them to act on them.
• If possible, spare them the boredom of working out the details. Instead, let them focus on the creative, more challenging aspects of a problem or situation.
• Let them know that you respect their competence and expertise.
• Respect their privacy and don't probe for information about their personal lives unless they are willing to share. Even close friends are wise to let the INTP initiate personal discussions.

from The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger

Description:

Private, intellectual, impersonal, analytical and reflective, the INTP appears to value ideas, principles and abstract thinking above all else. This logical type seeks to understand and explain the universe--not to control it! Higher education often holds a particular appeal to this type who tends to acquire degrees and amass knowledge over the entire course of life. Abstract or theoretical subjects are usually the INTP's cup of tea, and academic or research careers may seem attractive to this type. From science and math to economics and philosophy: just name the discipline, and you'll find INTPs perched on the loftiest rungs of theory and analysis. In whatever field they choose, INTPs take on the role of visionary, scientist or architect, and they usually prefer to make their contributions in relative solitude. The mundane details of life may be the INTP's undoing, since this type lives in a world guided by intuitive thinking. Often perceived to be arrogant and aloof, the quiet and sometimes reclusive INTP may have to struggle in the personal realm, as well, for feelings are not this type's natural forte.

from The Personality Page