How to Speak "ENFJ"

  • Let them know verbally how much you appreciate them and their contributions. With ENFJs, words often speak louder than actions.
  • If you need to offer criticism, make sure to point out any areas of agreement first. Alert them to incoming criticism and ask them to receive it in the spirit in which it is given.
  • Never discount, dismiss, or make light of their personal feelings about an issue, even if you don't feel there is a rational or logical basis for them to feel that way. Never try to talk them out of how they feel. Listen, rather than try to fix their problem.
  • Avoid confrontation whenever possible. Try to cooperate and find middle ground.
  • Make sure to follow through on commitments you make to them. Don't change plans unless it is absolutely necessary. And if it is, give them plenty of time to adjust to the changes and to shift gears.
  • When pitching an idea or proposal, make sure you have fully considered for the action will affect others, and emphasize all positive aspects.
  • Use their first names and maintain eye contact. Be patient with their sometimes long and tangential story-telling style.

from The Art of SpeedReading People, Tieger & Barron-Tieger


For ENFJs the dominant quality in their lives is an active and intense caring about people and a strong desire to bring harmony into their relationships. ENFJs are openly expressive and empathetic people who bring an aura of warmth to all that they do. Intuition orients their feeling to the new and to the possible, thus they often enjoy working to manifest a humanitarian vision, or helping others develop their potential. ENFJs naturally and conscientiously move into action to care for others, to organize the world around them, and to get things done.

from The Personality Page